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Posted on Wednesday Jun 3 0:00:00 BST 2009 On Friday 29th May, a Sutton XI entertained the Arcadians Cricket Club from Ghent in Belgium. There follows a visitors view of the Sutton part of their tour. Many of you will be able to associate themselves with some of the report from our own previous tours????
Oh, and one more thing Mr Nasty......IT WASN'T A BUMP BALL!!!
Now go and board your ship sailor! xxx
Panic stations. All-rounder Sam has lost his ID card on the eve of the Tour. News sources speculate that it is a cunning ploy by the UK opposition to gain the upper-hand by employing dirty tricks. There is nothing for it but to send agents Khurram, a.k.a “Dr. Do me Little” and Zoheel, a.k.a “Agent Curry” under the cover of darkness to perform a scouting operation.
Slipping through customs unnoticed, the pair arrived at 03.00 on Friday, where they wasted no time in testing the hotel’s (Holiday Inn in Sutton – nice) TV apparatus. Charges have been forwarded to the Chairman.
 Meanwhile at 06.30 at the Holiday Inn in Ghent, nine weary players and the sprightly Andrew “Scotty” Scott assemble and await orders. Four cars then fast-track it to Calais for the 09.27 train sous la Manche. Arriving under glorious skies, the rolling hills of Kent speed by taking the party towards the end destination of Sutton. After checking in, the hungry crowd make it through the notorious “Hole in the Wall of Sutton” and emerge on Sutton’s infamous High Street. It was here that many of the later extra-curricular activities took place. More on that later.
Still no sign of Dr. Do Little and Agt. Curry. However, a real Doctor – Dr. PHD Menon – put in an early bid for the legendary Pink Jacket that marks the Tour Day’s Dickhead of the Day. In a crowded Poppins restaurant, he had the audacity to order a tuna baguette as the rest of the crowd opted for the delights of a full English breakfast.
By noon, the Arcadians are ready for the first test of the day, a 40-over game versus Sutton CC. Now only 1.4 km away from the hotel, the Sutton CC ground was there for the taking on foot. However, given the weight of the cricketing material and distance, Wassie argues the walking call, and the group re-enter their vehicles for the journey. With today’s SAT-NAV technology, this manoeuvre should be easier than finding a skimpily-clad local lady. Oh no! Bangladeshi wonder Ahsan took three calls and 25 minutes to eventual find the ground.
And what a ground. The outfield was as flat as a South African joke with a straw-coloured track that set our batsmen salivating. Well at least we thought that we had brought some batsmen on tour this year. Hendricks, Captain for the day, loses the toss and elects to listen to the opposition skipper by accepting the decision to field. 25°C and not a cloud in the sky; we are all delighted to be put into the field. And it all started so well – Steve “Woody” Woodbridge pitches a first-ball beamer at the throat of Sutton opener Nasir. Not amused, the tall man then proceeded to smash the lacklustre bowling all around the park before eventually succumbing to Sammy’s spin for 75. Before then, Woody had Steve ‘the hitman’ Hall caught by Ahsan for nought. We know his name, as Khurram somehow ended up with his cap (and deservedly so, as ACCG only player on the day). Doyle (112*) and Liddiard (45*) put the knife into the tourists by posting 255 after 40 overs.
 Hendricks and Zoheel start the uphill run chase. But in quick time, Arcadians have slumped to 66-5, Hendricks, Zoheel, Medagoda and Gregson – all not making the most of the wonderful facilities. However, number three Khurram Syed is showing signs of promise with a crashing 6 followed by a salvo of 4s. In the end, he played one extravagant shot too many and is bowled by Schofield for 39.
Indeed, Schofield posted highly respectable figures of 5 overs 3 wickets for 7 runs. Little batting followed Khurram’s departure, and soon the side were all out for 86. The only other noteworthy remark being Bokke Thompson running out both Habib and De Baets. Pink jacket contender? Yes.
Match result – Sutton CC beat Arcadians CC Ghent by 169 runs. (Thanks kindly to Penelope M. Atkinson for helping us score. Never has a scorecard looked so professional!)
After the pints and speeches (and apologies to Sutton for our substandard cricket), it was time to draw the day’s lucky winner. Wassie, Alvandré, Sam and Unmesh fretted. But, there was only one winner. Vinnie stepped up to take the bows and the Pink Jacket. His first refusal of ordering a double Jack and coke and then refusing to drink it didn’t go down well with the Kitty Master on arrival at the ground.
Various other misdemeanours were also noted; e.g. Belgian politics. That said, the Belgian was happier than a chocoholic in Neuhaus with his bagged symbol of shame. Back to the HI for freshening up and then a curry. But Friday night is busy in Sutton, and there was much waiting around before we got a table.
In the meantime, Vindaloo Vinnie feasted his eyes on the sletten van Sutton . Fortunately, Gent’s answer to a busload of Japanese tourists left his camera at the hotel otherwise I think that there would have been complaints about his paparazzi style. The team eventually tucked into a sumptuous feast of naan, rice, vindaloos, kormas and dahls. Oh, and Vinnie tried a raw chilli for the ‘fun of it’. His sweating eventually stopped by the time the crowd reached the scoring grounds of The Moon on the Hill.
Yours truly plucked up the nerve to try and get Vinnie a quick smooch from a local gal. Now, as the story goes, Vinnie was on his stag night and getting married the next day. However, after the pecks of affection from a gaggle of 25-year-olds Mr. Lietaert forgot his undercover story explaining that the reason that he was wearing the jacket was because he was the club’s Captain and best player (straight up!). His earlier duck having clearly gone to his head.
The ladies of Slutton were not interested, they just wanted his chocolate. Time for a Woodbridge joke about Kit-Kats which almost got Gregson in trouble with some of the jealous boyfriends. Umpire Scotty ordered us to bed by 02.00. But, most knew that he and Jan really wanted to return to the Single Malt stored in their room. The moustachioed Jock needed to rest his right index figure for the plethora of ‘plumb’ decisions to come – To date his average score was one appeal one LBW given. Posted on Wednesday May 27 22:30:00 BST 2009 Well thank God that didn't go to extra time or United would have been thrashed out of site (bless 'em eh)!
Watching one overhit pass after another, it got me thinking about something I have had in my mind for a while regarding where club cricket in the south east could be improved. Yes you guessed it....a Champions League!!!
Take the nine champions from Essex, Kent, Surrey, Hampshire (Southern Electric League), Berkshire, Buckinghamshire, Middlesex, Hertfordshire, Oxfordshire and the Club Cricket Conference Cup winners from 2009 to go forward to the new champions league in 2010 to play each other home and away in the South East of England Champions League. (There could be other regionalised versions as well of course.
Those that compete in 2009 revert back to their ECB premier leagues in 2010 and the winners from 2010 move into the Champions League so as to spread the opportunities around.
This would give top clubs new opposition and, although this would add to the travelling, I think many players would like to go to new venues and test themselves against other county champions. Obviously, the various club's facilities would need to be up to a good standard.
There is little or no money in the respective ECB premier divisions to be had so a major sponsor would be needed to add to the incentive. Maybe, if there were national regional divisions, Sky Sports or Setanta could do a little weekly show during the summer, not dissimilar to Sky's current three clubs of the year feature that they are running during test matches?
Attendances at Surrey Championship matches are sparse to say the least but this might add to the interest, especially amongst those ground hopping anorak types who rock up from time to time.
Oh well, just a thought but club cricket needs some rejuvenation (and not just via 20/20 cricket).
I have flagged this (and other ideas) with the ECB but I haven't had a reply yet.......!!! (Wish I'd copyrighted the idea now!!!).
More blog "nonsense" next Wednesday. |
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